Pride 2024

There are many different identities that fall under the LGBTQ+ banner and people may identify with one or multiple identities – for example I myself am bisexual and polyamorous. Below are some flags with the corresponding name of the identity. If any of these are unfamiliar to you, do not feel that you must remember all of them or you are not a good ally or LGBTQ+ representative! The most important thing to remember is that there are a lot of different identities and to respect all of them. If someone tells you that they identify with something that you do not recognise, it is okay to say that you do not know what it means but you support them regardless. Some people will be happy to explain, whereas others would prefer that you research it yourself; be careful not to make your friend or colleague feel like they must educate you. It is also important to recognise if there is a power dynamic in place, for example if you are a line manager and your direct report discusses something like this with you.

It is also important to note that the flags and terms have had different iterations as they have evolved over time. For example, there are versions of the rainbow flag (which represents being gay but is also used as an overall queer flag) which include black and brown stripes for inclusivity of Minority Ethnic people, the polyamorous flag has changed multiple times, and the word ‘queer’ has historically had negative connotations but has more recently been reclaimed. Just as the flags and words change, what someone identifies as can change. If a friend has previously mentioned one identity and then tells you they have now decided a different one suits them better, this is a valid decision and should be respected. It is important to support your friends on their journey towards understanding themselves better.

Inclusive language

When talking to colleagues at work it is important to use inclusive language, as the people you work with may not feel comfortable coming out to you, or at work, or may simply have not mentioned their sexuality or gender identity yet. This can include using words like ‘partner’ instead of husband or wife and using they/them pronouns if you are unsure of a person’s gender identity.

If someone does choose to come out to you, it is important to match their energy. If they specifically ask to talk to you and are quite serious about the discussion, then you should be equally as serious when responding and supporting them. If they simply mention in casual conversation that they, for example, have a non-binary partner, then they will likely be more comfortable with you not making a big deal out of it but simply adjusting to use the appropriate language. It is also important to remember that they may be coming out to you specifically and not be comfortable with others knowing, make sure you are certain of this. I have included some examples of appropriate conversational responses below.

Providing support

This is especially important in a home scenario. If you are a parent and your child comes out to you, it is important to match their energy and to ensure they know you are supportive, and nothing will change your opinion of them and love for them. It is also more likely that given the more emotional context, they may pretend to be more relaxed about it than they actually are, for fear of a negative reaction. You may already have known about their identity, but it is important that you let them come out to you at their own pace and in their own way.

Thanks for reading this post, I hope you found it informative. If you have any queries or would like to discuss something, please do feel free to contact me directly or the Pick Everard People & Culture team on people&culture@pickeverard.co.uk.